Update + Some Links
the most unoriginal post title
Hello! I am sitting in a freezing house because I accidentally let my heating oil go empty! It is 26 degrees outside and balmy 51 inside (and dropping). It will all be remedied, but it is a good reminder to have contingency plans in place for when the unplanned happens, especially around the holidays.
I am heading to the gym to take a shower and then to school to watch final presentations about the meaning of home. This is my last set of finals. This week has been intense as I listened to nearly 100 final projects. About home, attention sanctuary, proposals, and creative writing. I am filled with stories, emotions, and compassion for my students, which is why I took a tiny break here.
But! I wanted to share a handful of things I recently discovered that might be useful:
Irish Cream. Ok. I am sure you know about and love or hate this. But I bought a bottle of Five Farms Irish Cream for a friend, and we tried a bit. Wow. It was so good, I picked up a bottle for Christmas morning (or this afternoon if the heat does not get repaired). This was a surprise! I am not a big drinker and have not thought of Irish Cream in decades, but in cold, cozy New England weather, it is a good thing!
I have been trying to punk the system and use the architectural prints at Staples to make wrapping paper, only to find out they just started offering it! You can upload a complete color design (think of all your photos, artwork, quotes, anything…) and pick your roll the next day! They are half off now, so it was about $8 per small roll, and the quality is impressive. I can’t share mine here because some of it is a secret, but if you are keen, I would do it right away. It is so fun!
Similarly, (Staples do not sponsor me!), I have wanted a huge year calendar for the wall with little spaces for each day. The ones I see online are beautiful but expensive. I found some great templates on Canva and sent them over to Staples to print on my above-mentioned archival paper. My cost is under $10 (for color), and I am excited to pick it up and plan my year.
A student sent me a bevy of resources that she wanted to share with me, and I have been hooked on Tumblr since. Particularly,
Literaryvein, who has rich lists on topics that you can incorporate into your writing.
And the search for Google templates, which is something I never thought about (I use Canva). Tons of inspiration.
Consider seeing Hamnet! It was a beautiful representation of grief and how we might move through it. You will cry, but it feels cathartic and resolved.
from the archives of Holiday Lab (on tradition)
[update: I am now a single mom of 3 young adults, and this nonattached and flexible mindset continues to benefit us]
Traditions are what bind us to others in a community. It is hard to imagine family life without traditions, both small and monumental. The PJs on Christmas Eve, the cinnamon rolls Christmas morning, the church service, the fruit cake…. But traditions are sometimes a double-edged sword. While they tie us to the past in ways that may uplift us, other times they can hold us back, repeating stories and beliefs that might not serve us anymore.
Keeping a tradition simply because it is a tradition is not a good enough reason to continue with it. By exploring our traditions, we can discover the ones that have a powerful impact on our lives and recommit to participating in them. We can also discard the ones that no longer work.
I like to think of our traditions as fluid and organic, able to withstand change and updates when needed.
For instance, we used to gather with other family members to make and decorate Christmas sugar cookies each year. Sweet, drippy, artificially colored confections that no one really even liked. But it was a tradition – how can you not perpetuate and participate? After a few years (and some serious health concerns for a few), the tradition morphed into decorating a healthier gingerbread person. A small, simple change that brought the sweet tradition into alignment with our family’s current values and needs.
It is important for me to remember I am not the gatekeeper of all the traditions. I choose to participate each year in the activities that are meaningful to my family AND they get to choose how they participate and what new ideas they want to try. This year, my kids are adamant about which movies we watch and that we make gingerbread people, but have suggested that our Advent countdown is not as important because, as they grow older, they already know what is on the calendar. What they don’t know is that for the first time, I am switching the advent to little presents. Things like: special marshmallows, maple candy, scarves, bird feeder supplies… We are in an intense driving period (multiple classes and rehearsals all over the state), so I might throw in a few experiences that can only happen when we are out. Maybe we will have a movie day in the car with Starbucks and popcorn, or a new downloaded CD, or a promise to stop for lunch at their favorite place.
One of their favorite traditions that they own completely is the animal Christmas tree. They have a small tree they decorate with little balls, paper garland, and lights. All the pet presents go underneath, and we have a special “pet” Christmas a few days before our Christmas. It is sweet and something they keep going to each year.
We recently spent an uproarious night playing our own version of Pictionary. Playing parlor games next to a lit Christmas tree is something I look forward to every year. The games may change, but the cozy, loud family time is a constant feature.
So, let’s think about holiday traditions.
List all the traditions that you have had over the years. Which ones do you love? Which ones feel more like a duty?
How do you feel when a tradition wanes?
How agential do you and your family feel about adding new traditions?
Have you discussed this topic with your people? If not, try it. I am always surprised by the difference between my perspective and those of others.